How to Survive Chronic Illness

Posted on November 12, 2013 by Christa Upton

Random thoughts on how to survive chronic illness:

  • Grieve your losses.
  • Grab beauty wherever you can (pages and pages of flowers, birds, scenery, etc. on Flickr; poetry; music; a bowl of apples) and let it seep into your soul.   003
  • Rest.
  • Find a support group, somewhere, somehow.  For an excellent online ministry with LOTS of support groups, look here:   http://www.restministriessunroom.com/
  • Give everything to God in prayer, including the “little things.”  The more “little things” you can give to God, the more peace and ability you may have to follow Him in the “big things.”
  • Ask God what He wants you to do.  Many of us with chronic illness can no longer participate in activities we used to do.  Maybe God will direct you to a new venture that can bless others.  Recently, I heard that some are able to make beautiful homemade cards to give away and even sell.  Cool!!  Which leads me to my next idea….
  • Create beauty, even if it is just plating your own breakfast with some fresh chives lying across your scrambled eggs and your gluten-free pancakes drizzled beautifully with molasses.
  • Relish what you can do.
  • Read the Bible.  I like to go here:  http://www.biblestudytools.com/   because I like being able to search quickly and I don’t encounter petrochemical inks on the computer.  🙂  On the other hand, some have to limit their time on computer for health and other reasons.
  • Accept God’s grace (and forgiveness).
  • Read a good book (find free books on Amazon Kindle) or watch an inspiring movie.

Lastly and most importantly:  trust Jesus as your Savior.  No, Jesus will not “make everything better” in your life, nor promise you instant healing, nor give you everything you want.

But God, through Jesus, offers one thing that nothing else in this world does:  the Way to heaven.

I could not survive my chronic illness and related trials without the hope of heaven.

(Please email me at steveandchrista@yahoo.com if you are interested in more information about accepting Jesus and Christianity.  Or you might begin by reading the book of John in the Bible.)

 

Your turn!  What ideas do you have for surviving chronic illness?

 

Christa Upton     Black Hills Picture Books      PO Box 293        Custer, SD  57730

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Ode to the Black Hills

Posted on November 9, 2013 by Christa Upton

So here’s the little piece  that I wrote when I thought we were going to move to Arizona.  But I still feel this way (and I’m glad I don’t have to say “goodbye” right now.  🙂 )

Ode to the Black Hills

by Christa Upton

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
The fragrance of the pines, wild sage, and sun-warmed prairie grass
Fills me with happiness and, strangely, a longing for adventure.
 
I open my eyes and see the flash of blue wings—a Mountain Bluebird.
I watch the wildflowers nodding in the breeze—yellow sunflowers and delicate bluebells and purple coneflowers.
The huge, clear sky is stunningly bright blue.
I look toward the horizon; I can see for miles.
 
I walk into the cool woods;
The pines tower overhead.
Down below, among the fallen pine needles, smooth gray slate and pretty rose quartz entice closer inspection.
The path strewn with sparkling mica reminds me a little bit of heaven’s streets of gold.
 
I hear the squeaky call of an animal—I’m not even sure if it’s a bird or an animal like a squirrel, but
I love its wild music.
I hear the knocking of a woodpecker
And the tiny chirps of chickadees—
Enhancing the symphony of the forest.
 
I hear the rush of wind in the pines—high and lonely.
For some reason, it makes me think of people who lived here long ago.
They saw these pines, heard wind like this.
They had hopes and dreams;
This forest beauty must have inspired them.
 
My own memories come to me—two sets of loving grandparents
Taking us to hike and picnic in the Hills
To see the funny buffalo and cute prairie dogs,
To drive through deep forests along winding roads that feel more like one is hiking than driving,
To swim in the lake, play along the river, enjoy the secret springs hidden among brambles and trees.
 
Prairie and hill, meadow and forest, mysterious cave and sparkling lake.
Mountain stream, natural bubbling spring, warm river, wild animals wandering free.
 
Summer evenings—cool dusk, crickets, brilliant sunsets.
Peace.
The Black Hills—one of God’s masterpieces.

 

Christa Upton     Black Hills Picture Books        PO Box 293        Custer, SD   57730

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Meet Cefa!

Posted on November 5, 2013 by Christa Upton

So, (praise God), another part of my life beyond MCS is children’s books.

I’d like to introduce Cefa to you.

Cefa  is a cute cartoon cat, with the distinction of having his own blog!  🙂 http://www.cefathecat.com/index.html

Cefa stars in several books for children, and he offers children many fun activity pages within his blog.  The activity pages are created to go with the books he reviews—what a neat idea!!

“Cefa Meets His First Friend” is the 2nd book in the series and contains a funny surprise.  It’s a pleasant book with a fun story line!

To read a very nice review “by” Cefa about my book, look here:  http://www.cefathecat.com/4/category/book%20review%20lets%20explore%20the%20black%20hills168cb6735a/1.html

Thanks, Cefa, for reviewing my book, and I’m looking forward to more of your books!  🙂

 

Christa Upton        Black Hills Picture Books            PO Box 293        Custer, SD   57730

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5 Reasons to Appreciate People Who Create Technology

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Christa Upton

Speaking of missing the internet while camping, I am very grateful for internet, computers, etc.

Here are five reasons to appreciate those people who work hard to further technology:

  1. You wouldn’t be reading this if not for technology.  🙂   And I wouldn’t get to read all the blogs that I love—full of ideas, encouragement, beauty, etc.
  2. Connections made through online groups are sometimes lifelong, beautiful friendships.
  3. Email and other online stuff make it SO much easier to keep in touch with family and friends, and even keep up with prayer requests of others.
  4. For those of us who are homebound beyond our control, technology makes a real difference in connecting, finding fellowship, being able to accomplish some things, etc.
  5. The good news of Jesus is being spread through technology every day.

I don’t know who “invented” the internet or how many thousands of people’s work contributed, but I am thankful.

 

Christa Upton        Black Hills Picture Books            PO Box 293        Custer, SD   57730

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House, What’s Next?

Posted on October 30, 2013 by Christa Upton

I am back!  Sorry about that unplanned, long absence from blogging.  I sure missed internet while camping!  It was even hard to keep in touch with family.

However, one nice thing about camping was that we saw some beautiful nature.  Sometime I hope to post gorgeous sunset and other photos that we took.  Nathan got some amazing storm photos.  He must have spent a couple hours all together sitting in the Winnebago trying to capture lightning flashes with a “point and shoot” camera, 🙂 and he got some good ones.

On September 22, we moved into a house for the winter/spring—hallelujah!  We will likely be able to stay here at least through April or May.  It is a beautiful, very large home, and we are very, very grateful for God’s provision for us.

But what next?  Don’t know.  It appears that ahead of us is continuing research, continuing to look into options both “old” and new, and continuing to search diligently for God’s leading.  Please pray for God’s wisdom and help for us.

At one point this summer, we thought we were going to move to Arizona and live in an actual MCS rental house.  I was SO sure we were moving that I wrote a “good-bye” piece to “my” beloved Black Hills (and even cried a little)!  But, the AZ house did not work out after all.  I was very glad to stay in this area I love so much, yet I was beyond disappointed that I could not look forward to true recovery in an MCS house.

However, God knows best, and I trust Him.

Sometimes, when all I “want” to do lately is be impatient and pound things until I make them work the way I want them to, I have this sense that God is saying, “I am in control.”  (What am I saying?  Of course God is in control!  🙂 )

My job is only to obey Him.  I must not refuse to do what He says or ignore His still small voice, but I also must not say to myself that I know better than He does.  (How silly would that be?)

 

One benefit of chronic illness is having to lean more on the Lord.  Have you experienced this in your life?  Do you see other benefits of chronic illness?

 

Christa Upton        Black Hills Picture Books        PO Box 293         Custer, SD    57730

 

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A Good Thing

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Christa Upton

This post is a little “late,” but I still wanted to share.  On Mother’s Day, Nathan got confirmed in our wonderful church.

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I was very sad I was too sick to attend, but they videotaped it and told me all about it.   (And our friend even brought me some cake.  🙂  )

The more special events of the kids’ that I miss, the more I realize that yes, the events are special and I’m sad, but it is the meaning of the events that no one can take away from me.

Our son has received excellent teaching in the Word of God and memorized important catechism, and now he is excited about being a communicant member of our church.  “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”  (3 John 1:4)

(Plus my sadness made me remember more deeply others who were sad on Mother’s Day—those who have had miscarriages, those who cannot have children, those who have recently lost mothers, etc.)

Here is Nathan’s confirmation Scripture:

John 16:33—“I have said this to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

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Unbeknownst to the one who chose Nathan’s Scripture, this had been our family memory verse for the weeks previous to confirmation!!  (So cool!!)

Christa Upton       Black Hills Picture Books         PO Box 293        Custer, SD 57730

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The Thing That Everyone is Probably Afraid of but No One Wants to Discuss

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Christa Upton

I will put this in first person, because this is how I used to be and sometimes still am.

I used to watch people suffering deeply and wonder, “Will God ask that of me?  Will He not protect me from that?”

Sometimes I wondered if the suffering might be the person’s own fault.  But to be honest, many, many times I could not think of any good reason why the person might have caused their own trouble.

This was a very scary thought because it meant I could not protect myself from suffering by doing the right things.

(I tried to do right things anyway, yes–to avoid pain, but also simply because they were the right things to do and I love the Lord.)

But in fact, most of us know many examples of people suffering dramatically because they did the right thing!

So then, how can we avoid the suffering that we are afraid of?  It’s impossible.  But, take courage.

The very great comfort I have for you is that suffering cannot separate you from the love of God.

Now that I have experienced staggering loss:   http://www.blackhillspicturebooks.com/category/welcome/ (like Job in the Bible), I can tell you one thing:  hold onto the God of the Bible, and you will be okay.

No suffering can damage you beyond repair.  No pain can destroy your soul.  Only sin can destroy you soul, and through the Bible we know the remedy for that–God’s forgiveness through the blood of Jesus!

Finally, this world and all its pain are but a blink of an eye compared to eternity.

I know that all believers in Jesus will be drawn to Jesus’ side, and we will experience the unspeakable joy of heaven forever.

To recap quickly:  no suffering can separate you from the love of God.  Hold onto God (or let Him hold onto you!!), and you will be okay.  Pain cannot destroy your soul, and we have access through Jesus to God’s forgiveness.  Earth is short; heaven is forever.

Those truths, and the pure grace of God, are why I am surviving emotionally despite everything, and they are why you can make it through anything, too.

And in heaven, everything will be okay.

 

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Homeless Again & Request

Posted on June 27, 2013 by Christa Upton

I’m back!  (For now….)

Here’s how we became homeless again.

In January (2013) we saw a major sign that our housing would probably get worse for me.  It did.

We searched (and are still searching) at least five online rental home sites (including one national MCS site) almost every day.

Nothing.

Not. A. Thing.  Not then, not now.

I got sicker.

We wrote emails to a dozen or so real estate agents looking for rent-to-own or maybe rent-while-the-house-sells.

Nothing.

We looked again for alternative financing.

Not even close.

I got sicker and sicker.

It was still too cold for me to camp in my camper, especially overnight.  And, we could not find a campground for me within 30 minutes anyway.  (Of course most are shut down in the winter.  Others spray chemicals regularly.  Etc.)

Finally we found a good rental possibility—OUT of town, no pesticides, etc.

Too expensive.  WAY too expensive.  Nothing turned up to help with that.

I got sicker.

Finally, I got so sick I was afraid for my life.  (Mom & Dad, I’m okay!  Really!)

We camped.  It helped.

Then more rain came, and more.  Rain = moldy forests.  I’m still okay in many places around here, but not in the dense National Forest, which happens to be where the free camping is (“dispersed camping”—please see National Forest rules if you decide to try this).

Even campgrounds that do not use herbicides or pesticides have campfires, propane, exhaust, usually mold (woodsy, trees), and whatever bug sprays (pesticides) other campers decide to use.  And other stuff.

But the dense, moldy National Forest causes me heart symptoms, EXTREME (like you can’t believe it) fatigue, weakness, digestive problems, breathing problems, and some other things.

This week, the temporary place I had been staying began causing me neurological symptoms, breathing problems, heart symptoms, digestive problems, and pain.  Praise God we were able to find private land farther from dense trees and owned by very caring people!!  (But we are camping there in the old Winnebago and my camper with no electricity or water and almost non-existent cell phone signal.)

We’ve been homeless for almost a month.

To be honest, I’m very tired of fighting for my health and my life.  No one has fought harder than my husband; I’m tired of seeing him bowed down under the weight.

Tired of fighting?  Yes.  Quitting?  No.

We have several other people who have been absolutely amazing advocates.  We are blessed.  Some people with MCS have NO advocates.

Next step?  Don’t know.

Swallowing my pride terribly:  please buy one of my books if you can and/or pass on my book information to as many of your friends as you can.  And/or tell me if you know of any good way to advertise that does not break quirky internet laws and preferably doesn’t cost much.  If you have the ability, any advertising you might be able to do would be fantastic.  

Thank you.

Christa Upton      Black Hills Picture Books      Edgemont, SD  57735

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Posted in Homelessness, MCS/Chronic Illness, Writing/My Writing/Children's Books | 1 Comment

Why I Love Cemeteries

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Christa Upton

Parks are becoming more in use, so they are beginning to fill with car exhaust, grilling smoke, etc.  People will probably start bringing bug spray, and in another month, there will be spraying of thistles, etc.

Praise God there are at least two cemeteries around here where they don’t seem to do anything but mow.  Cemeteries are my best chance of escape right now.

Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) has its own seasons:

Smoke and Propane Season (fall and winter)

Chemical Season (spring and summer)—herbicides, pesticides, lawn treatments,               painting, roofing, sealing, staining decks, re-tarring roads, etc. etc.

Obviously depending on circumstances and area, these overlap.  But the main point is, just as people are stopping the use of propane (putting great amounts of hydrocarbons into the neighborhood air), they start up the use of lawn chemicals.

I am NOT angry with our neighbors or with “society.”  Before I got sick, we used to use propane, smoke (campfires), pesticides, herbicides, paint, etc. etc. etc. with hardly even a thought!  We had never heard of MCS until at least 2 years after I started getting it.

I feel like there are some companies out there with some people who DO know what’s going on—that chemicals can hurt people, even severely—and they do nothing or even lie about it.

Yet, many people can use chemicals with no noticeable damage to themselves at all.  Is it fair to take away chemicals that other people like to use?  (Will the chemical eventually hurt them?  It could, but it is very hard to say about each individual person.  Some people seem to deal with chemicals THEIR ENTIRE LIVES with little or no problem at all.)

Some chemicals seem like they are just plain needed.  (For instance, no matter how sick I get, I doubt we will give up our car for a horse & buggy!  Although our middle daughter & I wouldn’t mind.  🙂 )

We have one neighbor who said they would let us know at least a day in advance before their lawn/pesticide guy comes each time.  (The advance notice helps significantly yet the spraying still carries significant risks for me, even if we go camping for a couple nights.)

Many have tried to come up with ways to start MCS communities.  Many barriers come up:  money (of course), differences in what people with MCS can and can’t tolerate, and worst of all—people so emotionally scarred by MCS that they simply cannot function well with others.

(I am absolutely positive that without God I would be SEVERELY emotionally scarred by MCS.)

That said, the best solution MCS people have been able to find is renovating or building for MCS in relatively remote areas.

In the meantime, I’m safest in cemeteries.  It’s an odd feeling to say that, to be sure….  (Makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.)

Please pray for me.  I know you “regulars” of mine already are.  Today I am having trouble breathing and neurological symptoms in our house.  (Yesterday I had even worse breathing problems riding through town to get to the cemetery.)  The outside air here at the rental is full of exhaust and other chemicals, so opening windows only makes it worse.  But Steve had to go to Rapid City today, so there is not a single thing I can do about my breathing right now except pray and share my request with others.

 

Christa Upton       Black Hills Picture Books       PO Box 293    Custer, SD 57730

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Posted in God's Grace/Encouragement, Homelessness, MCS/Chronic Illness, Suffering/Grief | 3 Comments

Poor Wayfarin’ Stranger

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Christa Upton

“Poor Wayfarin’ Stranger” lyrics (author unknown)

I’m just a poor wayfarin’ stranger
A-travelin’ through this world of woe.
But there’s no sickness, toil, or danger
In that great land to which I go.
 
I’m goin’ there to meet my Savior;
I’m goin’ there no more to roam.
I’m just a-goin’ over Jordan;
I’m just a-goin’ over home.

 

The haunting melody of this song makes it even more beautiful.  (And I can’t believe how perfect it is for someone with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity who literally “roams” trying to find a safe place to live.)

Sometimes my suffering feels overwhelming.  This is especially true when watching our children suffer (such as our daughter during one of her seizures).  Sometimes the weight of everything we have been through presses me down.  Sometimes the discouragement and lack of hope for relief make my heart ache with sadness.  I struggle through another day, praying for God’s grace on my situation and attitude….

Sometimes I identify with our dear brothers and sisters in Christ who sang spirituals like the one above.  The slaves who suffered so greatly must have had some of the same emotions that I have.  Why do I have to go through all this?  It’s not fair.  Why does God not do something?  Or maybe they were stronger than I.  Maybe they accepted their deep trials more graciously than I am.  Their Spirituals certainly expressed their strong faith.

The song above is one of my favorites.  It is one my heart sings as I reach out to God to help me.  The Christian slaves who sang it are one of my inspirations to keep going.

If you are discouraged, maybe you will want to read the beautiful lyrics again.  There really IS a land with no more sickness, toil, or danger.  Someday God will take those who put their faith in Jesus to that great land.

 

Christa Upton       Black Hills Picture Books       PO Box 293       Custer, SD      57730

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