by Christa Upton
I am glad to have you here, and I welcome your comments!
Did you ever think that if you “followed the rules” and worked hard that you would certainly succeed in life? Have you ever been surprised by suffering in your life?
Imagine losing your health, your independence (at age 38), your dreams for your life, your dreams for your children, your livelihood, your home, your reputation, your stability, your life savings, most of your possessions, some of your friends, some of your (extended) family, and your ability to participate in 90% of our societal activities. Imagine that none of these losses came about due to immoral choices. This is what happened to me.
But here is something even more surprising than my Job-like suffering: suffering has not conquered me!!
I live in the “prison” of severe Toxic Injury, also called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, (MCS), an illness that completely changed my life. I also suffer the great sorrow of seeing our little daughter struggle with the limitations and pain of spina bifida and seizure disorder.
I will be blogging about what it is like to go through my struggles: near (or maybe actual) homelessness (depending on how you define it), having to sleep in our car because I was so sick, facing rejection by those who do not understand, having my heart rent in two watching our daughter suffer….
I will not spare you honesty. Sometimes I tell God I think He is allowing too much suffering in my life. Sometimes I want desperately to give up. But God will not let me give up.
That is why I am writing today instead of curling up in a ball and refusing to deal with life.
I also want to write about what MCS is, what good has come from it for us, why suffering has not conquered me, and why suffering doesn’t have to conquer you, either!