19 years ago our baby had growth problems from an unknown physical ailment (which was found a year later). But the doctor in that city at that time could not find a reason for our son’s lack of growth. So he took the easy way out–blamed my husband and I.
I’ll admit that our son also having food intolerances (which he does not have anymore) confused the picture. Two things were going on with him, and one thing wasn’t even known to the doctors at that children’s hospital at that time.
But the end result was that I was being blamed for the problems instead of congratulated for my hard work. Hey, by the time that doctor accused my husband and I of being the problem, I was pumping milk for hours for our baby and also down to eating literally 4 foods to keep him from crying in pain from reactions to foods!
Extremely hard work + still experiencing problems + unfair blame = some form of depression
Is that a common cause for depression? I’m not trained in psychology, and I don’t know how “common” it is, but I’m guessing I’m not the only one on planet Earth to go through this. 🙂
For others who may have experienced this, being accused of suppressing anger (one way to “blame” someone for their own depression) would only worsen the problem.
Maybe my reason for depression is rare. But another related reason is the unfairness of life.
We in our society like to think that “hard work pays off.” And it does—sometimes!
However, there are many times that life is not fair. Yes, this is something we learn in Kindergarten, but the DEPTH of unfairness can sometimes stun even a mature adult.
I see many other examples where people work hard and then are cut down. Others are blamed when the problem is not their fault. Others have both happening at once, like I did when Nathan was a baby.
It reminds me of some Scriptures.
Psalm 73:12-17—“Behold, these are the ungodly, Who are always at ease; They increase in riches. Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain, And washed my hands in innocence. For all day long I have been plagued, And chastened every morning. If I had said, ‘I will speak thus,’ Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. When I thought how to understand this, It was too painful for me– Until I went into the sanctuary of God; Then I understood their end. (emphasis mine)”
Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books Edgemont, SD 57735