A Letter from My Husband When Someone Attacked Me

My husband never ended up sending this letter, but it helped me “process” the harm the other person tried to do to me (years ago, an out-of-state friend).

Maybe it can help some of you who have been wrongly attacked because of your chronic illness.  You aren’t the only one.

Here is an excerpt:

This is Steve writing, and I am shocked by your response to [our] friendly letter to family and friends. I am appalled at your unkind and hurtful words, your baseless accusations. It is this type of misunderstanding and judgmental-ism that has made dealing with Christa’s physical illness even more difficult.

Unfortunately, we have found that many others who also suffer from Multiple Chemical Sensitivity also suffer ridicule and abandonment from family and friends. It is also unfortunate that some people, when they don’t understand a physical illness, chalk it up to mental illness. It is disappointing to see you suddenly change, withdraw your support, and damage what we considered to be a good friendship with you.

Your accusations about the care, safety, and well-being of our kids and Christa’s care for them is totally baseless and couldn’t be more wrong….She has also had to suffer emotionally due to unkind attitudes and words directed at her by people who think they have it all figured out and know what she should “simply do” in order to get better. I couldn’t ask for a more loving, caring, hard-working, relentless, unselfish woman to be the mother of my children.

It grieves me that some people have so quickly forgotten who Christa is, the same woman who when healthy balanced motherhood, commitment to God and church, community activities, etc. She is still that same highly self-driven person, only hindered by a physical condition that so many people evidently can’t understand. Fortunately, we have found a host of understanding people here that are gathering alongside us as you once did, helping us weather the storm of a long-term illness complicated with unusual environmental needs and caring for a child with special needs.

I am deeply saddened that you view the pain and suffering my family has gone through as “craziness.” I will sadly remove you from our mailing list so that you don’t have to “suffer” with us any longer.


If you have also been attacked unjustly, remember others who have been as well and came out shining:  a man named Job in the Bible, Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Eric Liddell, and Jesus.

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books   Edgemont, SD  57735

About Christa Upton

I am a wife and mother of three children ages 11, 14, and 18. I used to be a stay-at-home mom (teaching piano & dance, volunteering, etc). From 2007 to 2010, I suffered accidental Toxic Injury (also called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity or MCS). MCS has had major impact on our family, but the forced time in bed has given me time to write. So far, I have published 4 children's books (2 in e-book format on Kindle, one in Print-on-Demand at CreateSpace, and one printed by a local printer). Sometimes I miss my old life, but I love writing for children!
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