Don’t Compare Trials

The day before one of the worst days of my life, I found out that a friend was dying.  She was relatively young at the time.

But did I expect her to set aside her suddenly having to face death and “not grieve” that, just because I was homeless (etc.)?  Of course not!  And did she expect me to set aside my troubles and “minimize” them because she was dying?  Of course not!  She prayed for me, and I prayed for her.

It’s so easy to feel like our troubles don’t matter because someone else’s troubles are so great.  Or, that someone else is whining about “nothing” compared to what we are going through.

One way I like to look at this is through my 9-year-old self’s eyes.  Some say that their childhood is carefree and they began to feel the responsibilities and trials of life more as an adult.

Not so with me.  I had a VERY happy childhood, but apparently I was born a very serious child in some ways.  When I was only around 9 years old, my grandfather commented to my dad that I was a worry-wart!  He was right!

So, when I faced a 9-year-old child’s struggle, it seemed huge to me.  Sometimes I ended up very distressed.  Did my parents shoo it aside (and shoo me aside) and coldly say I was silly?  No!  They helped me through it.

In the same way, any one of us cannot truly know how a certain trial or suffering is affecting another human being.  Each one has different skills, background, hurts, wounds, and difficult experiences that may play into our current trials.  Thus, to judge someone else’s trial as “not that bad” is very unwise.

On the other hand, when Jesus saw Peter’s mother-in-law in bed with a fever, did He say to her:  “Oh, your fever isn’t nearly as bad as the troubles of the paralyzed guy I just healed.”  No, of course not!  He had compassion on her.

In the same way, Jesus comes to each of us in our own needs.  He does not minimize our hurts, and neither should we.

Has someone minimized your hurt?  How did it feel?   

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books    PO Box 293    Custer, SD 57730

About Christa Upton

I am a wife and mother of three children ages 8, 11, and 15. I used to be a stay-at-home mom (teaching piano & dance, volunteering, etc. on the side). From 2007 to 2010, I suffered accidental Toxic Injury (also called Multiple Chemical Sensitivity or MCS). MCS has had major impact on our family, but the forced time in bed has given me time to write. So far, I have written nine children's books and numerous short stories. The one book I have in print includes numerous photographs taken by my own dear, sweet children and husband. That's how Black Hills Picture Books was born!
This entry was posted in Caregivers, God's Grace/Encouragement, MCS/Chronic Illness. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Don’t Compare Trials

  1. Pingback: Don’t Compare Trials | sondasmcschatter

  2. Deb Peabody says:

    Great reminder to prefer others ahead of ourselves and serve the best we can in the midst of our own trials!!

    • Christa Upton says:

      Thank you, Deb!! I find in that serving the best I can (in the midst of my own trials) God also blesses ME back! :) God is so gracious.

Leave a Comment